This is how I feel and maybe you can relate:
Whenever I am talking to someone and they ask the dreaded question…”So what have you been up to?” [Cue anxiety.] I never know how to answer that and I end up sounding lame because I don’t know how to talk about the adventures I’ve had! Children do this with ease whenever they talk about their day. They probably didn’t do much but they can describe it in a fun and long way. So, why can’t I?
Part of the issue for me is that I don’t like talking about myself and I feel self-conscious about it. The reason why is:
1.) Society
In society, we are taught to be humble. We are taught that bragging is a negative thing. But really, it’s not! It’s a skill you need in the job market. You need to brag about yourself in job interviews. (Thankfully, this is something I am good at! :D) You need to talk about your skills and experiences when doing a job interview so the person gets a sense of what you’ve done and whether they want to hire you.
2.) Self-esteem
Unfortunately, there are situations in my life that have caused me to believe that what I say or do doesn’t matter/isn’t special. What a con! There are people who want to hear your thoughts. You shouldn’t limit yourself because you’ve been told you don’t matter. You do matter and there are people who want well for you so you should talk about yourself. I love hearing all the fun things my friends/family have done.
3.) Fear
Fear of people not liking you when you talk about positive things in your life. This is a big one. I’ve learned that this is a fear response. Muting yourself to fit another person’s box is so toxic. Why are you making yourself small so people would like you? You’re going to be miserable living that way. It’s far more freeing, blissful, and healthy to be yourself without thinking of other’s opinions of you. If they don’t like you…who cares! Someone will. You won’t have everyone’s approval and you don’t need it. You only need your own.
Now I want to address that it does get annoying when someone talks about themselves too much. There is a line between sharing and being plain self absorbed. As long as you don’t over do it, you’ll be okay. “Too much of one thing is never a good thing”.
In conclusion, you need to brag and advertise yourself in the job market. It’s not a negative thing. Your friends and family also want to hear about the things you’ve done. Don’t let negative things prevent you from sharing.█
I posted a vlog/sketch video about my insecurities with talking about things I’ve done and why you should do it. I realized a lot making this video. (That’s why I kind of ramble at the end.) It’s a message for myself but I made the video in hopes that it will help someone else. Check it out!
Laila Flores 